my husband cheated me with his co-worker

I found out that my husband has been cheating on me for the past 2 years up to present... with his co-worker stated in roosevelt office where he assign before. He left his cellphone open and something inside of me told me to look. I saw text from the girl that she cried that time and begging not to give up their relationship the girl said "go on with your wife and to your baby", my husband replied that not that what he meant and that all he wants to spend time with her and not his family.i cried so many times and the pain is still inside i ask myself when and where did i go wrong i give all the support and sacrifice for him inspite all the ups and down im still in his side...I confronted him, and he said that they never had sex, it was stupid, it was just for attention. I don't know what to do, I need help and I always want to talk about it be he doesn't. I don't know what to do that time...when the times comes that i need to let all the pain i want to talk the girl,,, because i know her she use to call me "ate" when she came in our hause...i prepare food for them...i feel stupid when i realize that she put me big knife in my back...i dont know know what to think that time when i'm in my work i think blank...my work got affected and my daughter...that's the hardest thing of being mother that better she feel all the pain/hurt but not the pain experiencing of the child...i don't know what to think why that girl ruin my family....???

But then on... i have a lesson to learn...Upon discovering that my husband has cheated on me, it's not uncommon to feel an inner rage that has never been equaled. i left spiraling out of control trying to deal with feelings of mistrust, abuse, rage, depression, shame and nausea. Before even attempting to cope with my husband, suggest that he leave, or take a break myself. Listening to excuses or rationalizations is the last thing i need at this moment. Allow myself time to be angry or sad.

Talking to someone about my inner turmoil is necessary. Turn to someone in my religious community, a therapist, or a trusted family member or friend. Although i may feel like i hate my husband at this moment, choosing someone that can remain objective if i should choose to stay is ideal.i don't want my ramblings and feelings of rage, shame, and distrust thrown back in my face if i decide to stay. Talk to someone that will listen without interjecting what i should do or how i should feel.

After i allow myself time to grieve and be angry, i will have to confront my husband at some point about the affair. Acting as though nothing has happened is unhealthy for both of us, and if i decide to continue our family, without hammering out why it happened, how it happened, and how to prevent it from happening again, i will be sure to suffer the same fate again.

If i and my husband try to reconcile our family, understand that i have along road ahead of me, yet many people have survived affairs and come out stronger and more emotionally aware.

The first thing to do, is to start an open communication about the affair. Where as i may not want details, and they may not offer them, i entitled to know if it is over, or if my husband plans to continue seeing this person. If my husband have no plans of stopping the affair, it is clear that our relationship is over no matter how i feel. If my husband has stopped seeing this other person, and shows remorse, we both must acknowledge that something is wrong in our relationship and start an open dialog about what led to this betrayal...